Photo by An Indoor Lady
One of the key milestones to achieving joy in your home is to recognize that what others find pleasing (ie - social media anyone?) might not reflect your taste and priorities. So let’s try to ditch all of that and get to the bottom of what’s important to you. I know that’s easier said than done. Frequently when I meet with new clients they say “I don’t know my style”. It’s probably because for most of us it’s not cut and dried, and it’s easy to be influenced by trends and what other people think is “stylish”. That’s why I’m going to guide us through it in a way that is inward focused and independent of trends. Now, get a cup of coffee (or glass of wine as the case may be!) and settle in. This is going to be fun, but you have to be free of distractions.
Finding your “Happy Place”
Let’s discover how you are affected by your environment. Think of a favorite place (it doesn’t have to be a room. It can be a childhood meeting spot, a friend’s house, a hotel, etc.). What did you like about it? How did it make you feel? Was it open and light? Warm and cozy? Perhaps it was a bed and breakfast with crisp white sheets and beautiful views. Or maybe it was your dad’s study with dark wood paneling, a worn leather sofa, and the smell of pipe tobacco. Document 3-5 physical descriptors about it, including colors, smells, and then out to the right, list the emotions it evoked.
Conversely, think of a place where you did not feel joyful. What was disturbing about it? Was it cold and sterile? Cluttered and claustrophobic? I often hear references to hospitals or to grandma's house for this part (sorry grandma!). Describe the space in detail. Again think of 3-5 physical descriptors and the emotional associations. This is informative for what you don’t want in your home.
This is YOU!
Now, imagine a place where your closest friends would walk in and say “Wow - this is so YOU”. What would it look like? Would it be casual? Formal? Spare and neutral, or colorful and adorned with interesting items at every turn? If you’re unsure then think about your wardrobe. Do you lean toward neutrals with “go-to” basics and little variation from day to day? Or do you love fun, colorful prints and wouldn’t dare be seen in the same thing twice? For me, most of my closet is white and denim - and if it were socially acceptable I'd wear the same thing every day (please tell me it is!). These are clues to the fact that you do have a style, even if you might not realize it. Use these ideas to make a list of 3-5 adjectives that others might use to describe you and your ideal space.
The Bottom Line
Now let’s create a summary. Review the descriptors and emotions you wrote for your favorite and least favorite environments, and how your closest friends would describe your ideal space. Pick 3 or 4 key words to describe the physical qualities that you gravitate toward, and some associated emotions you strive for. My list looks like this:
Adjectives: 1) Comfortable 2) Simple 3) Fresh 4) Natural
Emotions: 1) Relaxed 2) Cheerful 3) Calm
Make note of these key words and let them become your guide. The next time you consider any purchase for your home, ask yourself “does this fit my ideal description?”. Every item you bring in, whether big or small, will either contribute to the end goal or detract from it.